Film: The Lost Continent (1968)

My quest to watch as many Hammer horrors as possible has been a bit of a slog at times, but when I saw that the blurb of this film promised “killer seaweed” and “murderous crustaceans” I had to see it. The film being based on a Dennis Wheatley novel was a promising sign: I haven’t read any Dennis Wheatley yet myself but I’ve heard good things about his writing.

The opening credits and first scene create a nice, eerie atmosphere before we are thrust into a little action with some 60s film silliness as the customs enforcers pretend to bob about on their little boat.

Unlike certain Hammer films of this era, tension is established from the outset with explosive cargo and an incoming hurricane promising crisis on the horizon. Questionable acting, Hemmings’ bizarrely yellow hair and tropey characters remind us that we’re watching a film from the 60s, but the tension returns as a hull breach threatens to ignite the hazardous chemicals in the hold.

All the Hammer signatures were present and correct: dramatic zooms, oddly pink fake blood and a beautiful screaming blonde. However my favourite character was not the blonde scream queen but the alcoholic pianist who plays both the comic relief and the harbinger of doom, delivering lines like “we’re still alive, unfortunately” with both wit and an appropriate air of gloom. He steals the show in a tense scene where a morose piano soundtrack can be heard over the doctor tending to an injured crewmember: as the camera zooms out from the characters in the foreground, we see that this soundtrack is actually being played in-universe by our morbid pianist friend, and the other characters are none too pleased with him.

The further we get into this film, the more I appreciate the sets, monsters and practical effects. Relatively simple yet effective sets reminiscent of stage productions host distinctly styrofoam looking murderous seaweed and fantastic giant crab puppets. While the practical effects are often laughably bad to the modern viewer, they have heart and often craftsmanship. This whole film is what the people of TikTok or Pinterest might call a “rare aesthetic”: there is an anachronistic, maritime steampunk to this film which is only strengthened as the seaweed transports the passengers to a ship graveyard inhabited by lost Spanish conquistadors and a tribe who use balloon contraptions to traverse the seaweed. This is quite the strange turn, and not the first plot development in this film to catch me off guard. After watching endless Hammer films about vampires and murderers and mad scientists I find myself refreshed by this film which goes in less predictable directions.

This is an absolute gem that I am so happy to have stumbled across, so I will not spoil the rest for you. Expect strange antics, stranger aesthetics and more tension than you’d expect from a 60s film. If you can find it, watch it.